I have begun accessing some of Diana‘s social media. I can’t handle much right now, but little by little, I’ll get there. She created a document this past Sunday and left me all of her passwords. She told me it was in case the ER admitted her if she ended up going in with her bowel obstruction.
If you’re wondering what pushed her to leave us, know that the primary reason was fear of losing the life she had “worked so hard to build” (per her suicide note to me). She simply could not get a job, and she saw very little to look forward to in 2017. She also told me in the suicide note that there just wasn’t a “happily ever after” option.
I found a message from a few months ago that she sent to a friend. We must do better. Let this sink in:
“I’m not doing well. Still feeling crushed after not getting that job, which I felt was my last proof that I’m entirely unemployable. I’m in the depths of despair, and just want to die. The struggle against my survival instinct is overwhelming, and so I’m just sleeping as much as possible.”
Hire trans people. And yes, even those who are open about sex work, mental illness, and addiction.