Diana wrote for Daily Dot right around this time about two years ago. This went really big on Twitter in the sex worker community. I was honored to be her second set of editing eyes over the time that she wrote it, and she was so happy to be paid for writing. She was inspired, and I had really hoped she’d keep writing. So did many others.
We talked a lot about how sex work strained our relationship. We made it work (I could talk a lot about this), but she was desperate to leave sex work lately in large part because she felt it was too hard to bounce back and forth between paying clients (and having to maximize how much survival she could extort out of them in exchange for intimacy, closeness, and what she referred to as ’emotional labor’), and loving freely with those who were actually her lovers and play partners. She said that it also felt like bouncing between thriving and surviving – that was too difficult, especially going from our beautiful weekends together … into Monday and needing to bump ads.
“Getting paid for being a companion makes it hard for me not to think of my personal friends and lovers as potential clients. Every time someone in my circle wants to play, I immediately start thinking, “I’m not gonna get paid for this.” It doesn’t even matter that I might want it just as much as they do. After a year of doing sex work, that’s just where my brain goes: “I’m losing $1,000 because I’m making love to my boyfriend all night long for free.””
Here’s the wildly insightful, full post she wrote for Daily Dot: