Backlog 2

Can’t seem to keep up with the blog versus my Facebook, but I want to ensure that my blog isn’t missing some of my thoughts and feelings in this aftermath  Thus, I’ve copied over some of my Facebook statuses into one post.  I’m sure I’ll have other ‘backlog’ posts.  I am so grateful for these outlets and the comments and messages of support.

A good friend told me today not to rush this process.  And several people have told me to just feel and do whatever feels right every moment of the day.  I keep worrying that people are already getting tired of my posts, but writing, processing through my keyboard, is literally all that feels within my power right now.

I cannot believe that tomorrow will make a week since this happened.  It feels like it’s just been one really, really long day.  Or rather, one really, really long nightmare.

December 25th, 2016.  11:40pm.

It’s the existential shit now – like finding leftovers in my fridge from food we shared together just a week ago.

December 26th, 2016. 12:40am.

When shit gets really tough? Roast okra and purple potatoes. I may not eat them, but it’s something to do. I will drink this beer, though.

December 26th, 2016. 12:45am.

Talking to some of Diana‘s closest friends, the ones she enjoyed bantering the most with, is providing me some comfort tonight.

December 26th, 2016. 8:41am.

“I will always be your lover, even after our atoms are dispersed. We’ll be pushing up daisies, and my crush will just be getting worse. And I will follow you into the next life like a dog chasing after a hearse.” -Ani

December 26th, 2016. 9:30am.

My weight is officially the lowest it has ever been since I met Diana. Which is somewhat ironic, because this is the heaviest I’ve ever felt in my entire existence.

Image may contain: 2 people, eyeglasses, closeup and outdoor


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