Backlog 5 — 1/2/17

January 2nd, 2017. 7:00am.

I’m so tired of being with my thoughts.

January 2nd, 2017. 9:11am.

If this is to end in fire
Then we should all burn together
Watch the flames climb high into the night

Calling out father oh
Stand by and we will
Watch the flames burn auburn on
The mountain side

And if we should die tonight
Then we should all die together
Raise a glass of wine for the last time

Calling out father oh
Prepare as we will
Watch the flames burn auburn on
The mountain side
Desolation comes upon the sky

Now I see fire
Inside the mountain
I see fire
Burning the trees
And I see fire
Hollowing souls
I see fire
Blood in the breeze
And I hope that you remember me
-Ed Sheeran

January 2nd, 2017. 9:57am.

My heart just sank. God.

1 Year Ago:

Diana Hemingway
January 2, 2016 ·

“My two biggest accomplishments of 2015:
1) Co-created the greatest relationship of my life thus far, with Landon.
2) Raised visibility and awareness of sex worker rights in my communities in Broward and Miami-Dade counties.

Looking forward to the opportunities in 2016. Prepare to be rocked!”

January 2nd, 2017. 4:35pm.

I am leaving Diana’s house after taking some pictures, and just feel so so overwhelmed by sadness and the many unanswered questions.

Why couldn’t our love have been enough to get us through this awful time? We were so strong together. I will just never have an answer for ‘why now?’

January 2nd, 2017. 7:18pm.

I’ve been having nervous/panicky feelings for over an hour now. Some of the thoughts are related to the feeling of finality, others to memories, others to fears, others to loneliness and touch deprivation, others to anxiety around so many logistical things that must be done. Any suggestions from anyone who has been through this during grief?

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