For the past two weeks, people have asked me what I need. I often haven’t known specifically, and people have already stopped asking (I was told to expect this).

I will tell you that I haven’t been able to make myself eat yet today, and the idea of going home alone to eat, or even going out somewhere to eat alone, feels really awful.

So I guess the short answer is this – I need folks to keep checking in on me. I still feel like I am drowning. I’m not exaggerating.

I am really scared that I may not make it out of this. I feel really overwhelmed and really alone.


One thought on “Drowning

  1. I just wanted to send you my love, tell you i think of you and your community daily, and I know its really not anything in the midst of the ocean of emotions you are managing, but my unconditional love is genuine. You are one of the most authentic, beautiful humans I have had the opportunity to cross paths with and I don’t take that lightly. I have been reading Diana’s blog and articles and everything I can find. She is a powerful force and her politics are those of my dreams. I remember meeting you and you talking about her and I honestly still remember it because I don’t think I had ever witnessed someone whose love was so unending and passionate for their partner that literally every word you said and your eyes and how you held yourself it was so clear she and you were tied together in a way that is so radical nothing could interfere. I just remember your fierce spirit and presence in person and I keep thinking of it because it has inspired me ever since. I have been talking with my community here about what real activism looks like and sex work and just wanted you to know. When I have my many ups and downs which I do I am still inspired by you. Thanks for being vulnerable and most of all being you in the world.


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