Four Weeks + Spirituality

Today makes four weeks since my love ended her life in this world. I have experienced the lowest of lows, and don’t even know how I’m still here right now. There are no words for how much I miss her or the lengths I would go to have her back if that were possible.
 
Besides trying to spend as much time as possible with warm/loving people who make space for me to process, the only thing that has brought me any source of comfort is imagining that our journey together didn’t end when her body left this world on December 20th.
 
I have NEVER been a spiritual person, but this loss has brought me to a new place of desperately wanting there to be more than “we turn to dust and it’s over,” which is what I’ve always said.
 
I feel like I’ve been walking around in an empty shell. I miss my soulmate, and I long to be with her again, in another realm, another universe, another life.
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3 thoughts on “Four Weeks + Spirituality

  1. This feels so honest. I have really wrestled similar questions, though in different situations. I’m with you, hoping there’s a long time of being back together to come, any kind of structured spirituality aside. Sending love- just know I’m reading along still and thinking of you a lot.

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    • Thank you so much for reading along and for the comments. I may not reply to all of them, but I see them all, and I’m grateful. ❤

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  2. Dear friend,

    God has chosen the partner, the family, the friend and even those people to bring in your life you do not even like. Give and take does not stop with the death. We can also see cause and effect in our lives, reaction and action and it does not end with the death it goes on in higher “frame” – the wheel of coming and going, migrating process of souls. The time will come when surely God will bring you again together with your partner. A good companion at your side will also help that you both will some day reach your goal together: to go back to your real home, in God as one soul. It may take time of course as a flower takes it time for blooming – but some day the drop will be united again with ocean.

    I wish you happiness and a strong believe in God
    All good wishes
    Didi

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