Backlog 23 – 2/4/17 & 2/5/17

Feb 04, 2017. 2:35am.

I really hope this is true. Having a night where I just want to fucking give up again. Just plain tired of feeling.

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Feb 04, 2017. 9:11am.

I have forgotten what eight hours of sleep feels like. I can’t stand how my body keeps waking me up after only four or five hours.

Feb 04, 2017. 10:44am.

I’ve lost about 20 pounds since losing Diana. I really can’t afford a whole new wardrobe or even the stress of trying on clothes somewhere.

Life feels pretty suffocating lately. I wish I could be more positive but everything feels overwhelming.

Feb 04, 2017. 12:14pm.

Telling Diana’s story today at the Point Foundation brunch. I hope this not only touches those in the room, but that it also helps me to heal. I miss her with my whole being.

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Update: I got a standing ovation.  I hope the message hit home for many.  We must do better.

Feb 04, 2017. 8:48pm.

Saturdays are by far the hardest. We’d be deep in conversation and/or debauchery right about this time.

Feb 05, 2017. 10:14am.

On this day last year, Diana posted to Facebook:

“Just hung my Landon J. Woolston collection, but can’t post due to FB TOS. You’ll have to come by. Also hung my Michael A Smith – only took me 17 years to put it on a wall.

She loved me so much and so well. I can’t believe she’s not here, with her art-covered walls.

I love you and miss you so much, baby.

Feb 05, 2017. 10:30am.

Maybe Sunday mornings are even harder than Saturday nights. I’d usually be waking up with Diana, and we’d be loving on each other, cuddling, talking, sharing our hopes, fears, dreams. Sometimes we didn’t even get out of the bed until 2 or 3pm.

Things feel unbearably difficult this morning.

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